Oh how we change......

I was just remembering before my hubby and I got married 9 years ago we both agreed on 2 things~#1 moss is better than grass(because there is less mowing)
~#2 you should never under any circumstance mix slurpee flavors.

My husband now sprays the lawn with weed killer and moss out and mixes the kids slurpees to be rainbow.......I hope we find some new things to agree on.

Motherhood

Part of motherhood means there may always be toothpaste on the bathroom door........so get use to it.

My Death Flowers

I had to throw away my death flowers tonight....I call them death flowers.....they are not as pretty and I try not to look at them very much.......I stood there holding them having a smoke and not wanting to throw them in to my ditch,it was another letting go..........felt like all the people that sent them got to forget (now that the flowers were gone) but not me.........1 white lily still stands and I am going away for 4 days knowing when I return I will have to let it go to.........Iko Iko on day.

Moment With My kids

After the loss of my brother I was very sad(to say the lest) anyway I was laying in bed when my daughter Jasmine came in and sat beside me"I am going to cheer you up mom" she said. I did not move or say a word. A few moments passed and she said" Mom your a Stinking-giant-melon-head" being I was not in a playful mood I thought to myself "she sucks at cheering people up" Then I said to her"Jasmine my head is not giant, I am just bigger then you and, my head is the right size for my body" Jasmine then said after a pause......."well its still stinking" I laughed and cried at the same time.She made me happy as she always dose.

Ash discovered if you push 0000000000 on the phone a man or woman will talk to you.

My daughter Daphne has this crazy interested in china and not just the place but, the Boys that come from there! (please note she is 7 and has felt this way since she was 5) There are two boys in her class that are from china and she plays with them at school everyday.She told me"Anson and Simon fight over who gets to sit beside me, but they never realize I have two sides"

leaning from loss

This past Sept 12th,I was putting away my dishes from my dishwasher as I do many time perday, when my Dad phoned me.I asked"hows it going Dad" and his response was not what I had planned to hear that day.......He told me "Jeremy died today"
Jeremy was my brother.......
I left the kitchen and sat down. Time slowed, life stopped,the air was warm and I was numb. Less than an hour passed and the hospital called to ask my father if he could describe my brother because,the man they had there had no photo ID. The hospital asked if Jeremy had any tattoos??? Being that it had been 2 years since we had seen him and Jeremy had never brought it up my father was shocked and said "no my son had no tattoos" for a short moment it was as if a second chance was given.......One more chance to say all that need to be said........................(we still weep over the lose of the soul of that "other man" He was someone else Son and brother) but for that moment we had him back.........But No shortly it was confirmed it was...... Jeremy. The story is much longer and the next week passed so slowly and the tears were long and painful, but I took away from this a few things~ Life is hard glad I dont travel alone~ Family is the best thing Iv got~ Loss sucks~Cooking keeps you busy but, the food tasted bad~My husband is a VERY good man~ My kids will do anything to make me laugh~Death flowers are not as pretty~Say what you need to before its to late~Take lots of photos~Judge less~ Dreams can be peaceful or frightful~ Drugs are bad~God is big~chocolate dose NOT help~My mother is wiser than I giver her credit~Friends feel our pain~Daddy's can need there kids to carry them~Forgiveness is hard~Ashes of one man are quite heavy~This life is only one step~Peace washes over like a wave

She picked me!!!!

I always love my family more than I think anyone can love anyone,but I some time realise they love me back as huge as I love them. ~~~~I brought my 7 year old daughter to school late a few weeks ago, it happened to be her"helper day"so she asked if I could stay and watch her do her morning carpet thing they do in grade 1. I sat with her class on the rug and was proud to see her read the board and point to the days of the week. After her part was done, her Teacher said she got to take the attendence to the office and she could pick a friend to go with her. All the kids put up thier hands and called out "pick me" and "Daphne, I want to come" she turned to me and smiled and said"I pick Mommy" I cheered for myself and held hands with her all the way there.
Out of all her classmates and friends,she still wanted me more than anyone. She loves me more than anyone else on earth. I love being her Mommy more than if I could be anyone else on earth. These moments make my life.

Well,I was just outside thinking about the air in my backyard;it smells like the best air I have ever smelt (givin, I have not traveled or smelt a lot of air) but, it smells really good. That got me to thinking how much I like my air and, then I got to thinking about how much I like my yard and then my house.I know lots of days I am not pleased by the sight of it or, the fact its kind of old and need new paint inside and out and, there is broken stuff from end to end and, there is a door missing on my solarium, and a broken down truck stuck in my garage but, I love it here, so Yes~~ old and broken,I still love it. Here is the place friends gather and are welcomed to stay forever. Here I am home, my Family is here.Two of my kids were new babies in this house. I have learned a lot in the time I have lived here.I have cried many tears in every room of this house. I have laughed in every room of this house.I have danced and sang and carried babies and yelled and cleaned up clothes and toys and mud and papers in every room of this house. I like to think if these walls could talk they would truly DANCE. As I was out smelling my air, I was thankful to have this simple life in this random place,near to the people I love (I know its a lame rant) but,there are days I am NOT thankful and happy just because I have good air.

My candy thermometer

Awhile ago I was going to make, making yogurt "my new thing" as it turned out I only made it once and, it was not very good,but anyways I bought a candy thermometer so, I could test the milk and what not. This is just one of those story to laugh at myself about so get ready.~I was at SuperStore in the bake ware department carefully looking at all the candy thermometers.There was eight or more to choose from, right away I went for the old school style (not the digital) I liked the brushed metal As I was standing in the store admiring its slickness a thought came to me "why is there a clip on this? What lame-O would wear this nerdy thermometer in there pocket? Maybe a scientist with his pocket protector and pens in lab coat...... Geek" I still thought this was the most sheek so bought it. I came home put away my groceries and started with the yogurt. I took a nice heavy cream and poured it in to my pot on the stove. I unwrapped my new shiny stylish candy thermometer and held it in the pot,without even noticing I slid the hook over the side of the pot.WOW!!!!! That's what that was for. End of Story

A little about me

I am writing this blog for myself to track my random thoughts~~~~~I am a wife to one fine man, a stay at home mother of 3 fine children ,talking to much is one of my many faults,I love to make new stuff from old stuff,the ocean has a power over me, red wine is good,I never forget,I cry out of happiness way to much,I love smoking but I almost never do it,I am cooking all the time but my kids would prefer I served soup from a can, I could talk on the phone all day infact sometimes I do,I think less is more,I almost hate animals,if I was rich the only thing I would want would be a maid , socks and underwear bug me, I started eating olives six months ago,I am a artist in my mind,I make all songs I sing into my own remix,I need to like myself more,I make the BEST falafal in the world,I bit my nails and not just to make my mother and husband nuts, I think my kids are the reason I was born,I grow avocado plants,I want to go EVERYWHERE,I almost always dream,I am a cute girl who can chop her own fire wood,I married my first love and still like him,I drink coffee as much as I can,I love my big hair,all my childhood dreams have come true and now I dont know what to do,I am impressed amassed and frustrated by me kids every day,Pop is poison,I need earrings to servive,I wish I could time lock my kids so they would never grow up,Rats are scary and make my cry,I have faith in God but not the cookie cutter God that most people do ,chopsticks are way cooler then forks,I have regrets,there is a lot of thing stuck down the drain of my bathroom sink,I am over joyed to be over run with drawings my kids make,I never liked Santa.
and, I will tell my truth pretty or not. Love me and take me as I am, or not I dont really care anymore.oxxoxo

If I see a baby,I need a baby but, I never want a baby again.

If I had a list of top 22 favorite people,I PROMISE my kids would be way up there with my husband, my best girlfriends, Mr Jack white (of the White strips) My sister-in-laws, the garbageman who for two years I might add, put my cans back in my garage for me.........Ok, WAIT...................I have gotten way off topic. What I was going to say is, I love my kids and they are the best but,I do not want another single person or animal to take care of ever again. You cant really blame me, after all I do have three children ages 6 and 4 and 2 plus, a husband and two stupid birds (that no one in our family likes we just keep them out of guilt) Anyways,This week one of my most truly great girlfriends gave birth to a perfectly beautiful tiny little soul. When I went to the hospital to see her,she was peaceful yet, ragged, tired,and in dreadful amounts of pain from being cut in half but,as we sat it her hospital room, being paranoid we might get cough drinking wine,I could see her smile as she stared at her new son, full of love for someone she only just met hours ago,I was reminded of that instant loves I had with my babies there in that same room. That was the first time since I was a mother, I realised I was ok with ending that chapter and that I would never have another baby, yet was so thankful she share her moment with me and, hope to witness it again, if only when my own babies enter there adventure of parenthood.